Worth & Value

Hey y’all,
Yesterday, a couple different events took place, and those events reminded me of something really, really important. I thought I’d share with y’all what took place and the lessons you can learn from it, because I truly think it’s important for us all to know and remember them in our daily lives. So….

First off, yesterday morning in one of my morning classes, one of the boys brought up this girl (who doesn’t go to our school & is much older than us) who he is literally obsessed with strictly because of her beauty and looks. He doesn’t know her personally, but “creeps” 😉 on her enough on social media or at the gym enough to love every aspect of her physically. The truth about this girl is that she actually covers up A LOT of her natural beauty (she bleaches her hair & teeth every week, fake nails, tons of makeup, pageant girl, etc.). I want to be very clear that I’m not “hating” on this girl or putting her down in ANY way at all. She is indeed a very, very beautiful girl with a great sense of style, too.  I’m simply just stating the facts that we all know, no hate intended at all.

So anyway, he brought her up and was talking about how much of a “goddess”, as he says, she is and what not. He also mentioned about how she and her boyfriend have an “open relationship” meaning that they are technically dating, but still have other relationships with or “talk” to other guys/ girls.
Our sub for that class, who was a part of this whole conversation, then brought up about how although she is stunning on the outside, that’s not really how she is on the inside or underneath. He made some really good points and asked the boy (who originally brought the girl up), “why would you want to be with someone like that? Someone who is not exactly ‘real’, is okay with having multiple relationships with different guys, and is simply only known or ‘popular’ for her looks”.

Of course, the boy didn’t have a good answer or really care because he’ still so caught up in her looks (and probably will be until the day he dies lol), but he did hear what our sub (who is married and totally gets it) was saying.

The second event was at the end of the day yesterday. One of the boy’s in the 7th period Bible class said that all the guys in our grade were completely out of all the girls’ in our grade league or that the guys were far too attractive to be with any of the girls (or the girls aren’t attractive enough to be with any of the guys). The boys in 8th period Bible quickly heard this and announced that they were “going to hug ** the boy because he said everything they have always wanted to say”.

My Bible teacher (who is also married and knows what’s up) quickly responded to them and said that was the most idiotic and non- truthful thing he could have ever said, and the head football coach (who is also married and gets it) told my Bible teacher to count all the boys tardy who went and did that, because he also understood how dumb it was.

As you probably assumed, this sparked a whole new fire between the boys and girls. 90% of the time, when a guy says something offensive to a girl, her reaction is going to be her getting really offended and the defensive to everything else the guy will say. There is really nothing wrong with this all, it’s just what most girls do. For myself though, it’s a little different. I am the type of person that will usually let offensive comments or remarks slid right on by me, especially when it comes to a guy. This is something a lot of people, especially girls, cannot do and something I’m really blessed with (not boasting, just stating ). With that being said, there are many different reasons why I’m able to let things fly by me and not ruin my day. Below I listed them- the things that help me ignore people’s rude comments. And I truly hope that y’all (mainly my ladies) can understand and remember these points the next time someone (more than likely a stupid boy ;)) says something offensive or annoying or hurtful to you. Take a look below…

• Look at who is saying them- in the “out of league” situation, the boys that were saying that were high school, immature, boys who haven’t had girlfriends (and if they have, the girl wasn’t all that and a bag of chips ;)) and are constantly, texting, snapchatting, or DMing the girls to try to get with one.

• They’re looking for a reaction- half the time when people say mean things, especially boys, they are looking for a reaction out of you. They want to see their comment effect you. If it affects you, then it affects them because then they know you heard it and felt it. If you do your best to blow off the rude comment/ person and not let it get to you, you won’t have a reaction (or at least one they can see and take pleasure from).

• Remember that you are the bigger, higher person than them- This kind of ties in with the one above, but if you remember when they are trying to get a reaction out of you that you are a bigger person than them and their rude comments, you most likely won’t have a showable reaction at all. When you don’t have a reaction to something a rude person says, that will make them upset because at once, they may realize that they can’t hurt you. Their mean comments can’t put you down. You are way too strong for all that.

• Know who you find your worth and value in- {this is by far the most important one; I can’t stress it enough!} I have been bullied a lot and had a lot of mean, mean comments said to me in my days, but the main reason I can walk away from them all with my head held higher than it originally was, is because I know who I find my worth and my value in. I find it only in the eyes of the King, in the eyes of the One who loves me and everything about me more than I could ever know or understand completely, in the eyes of Jesus. If you find and base your value and worth only on what others (or high school boys in the “out of league” situation) say, you probably are going to have really, really low self-esteem and confidence because no matter how many nice comments you get, they will never be able to outweigh the mean and hurtful ones of this world. Only Jesus can give you enough strength, confidence and knowledge to understand your true worth and value. Know who you honestly find your worth and value in.

Guys, try to remember today that you are beautiful and great and funny and just pure gold because you are, no matter what anybody else wants to say.

Thanks for reading, Davianne.

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